You can argue that it’s not true, but the way you choose to live your life is all about priorities.
Driving somewhere through the middle of nowhere on the east side of Sierra Nevada with the mountains on our left and the vast desert spreading behind the narrow strip of green on our right, we went past one single house, standing alone nearby a beautiful sky-mirroring lake. With the view of the mountains, patches of shade created by trees growing in small groups here and there, sun shining high in the sky, this place was just enchanting.
“I would love to live in a place like this one day…” I said as we took a turn to go around the lake.
“Why would you ever want to do that?!” sounded shocked and a mildly angry response from my companion, followed by something like: “This is a really stupid choice of place for life.”
“Why do you think so?”
“Look around, you’re alone here! This is a wasteland.”
“But for somebody who longs for solitude, this is a great place to live… I couldn’t live in a city, for example, too many people…”
“But what if something happens to you, how will any help get to you? You have no neighbours and everything is too far! This is really a stupid idea to live in a place like this…!
“That’s true but I think it’s a lot about priorities…” was the last thing I said before I was rewarded with uncomfortable and slightly angry quiet.
I thought about it here and there – was I really stupid thinking that living in a place like that is not bad at all? But what kept my mind busy even more was the question of priorities. (And why did it make my companion get mad at me?)
Everybody has priorities. It’s something that drives our lives, something we make decisions based on, something that gives us the direction.
Sometimes they can be something as trivial as choosing Chipotle over Panera, but mostly, when somebody says the word “priorities”, the vibe of the conversation tends to turn rather serious.
Me and thousands and thousands of other people are a community of the unsettled ones, the wild ones, the free-thinkers, the explorers,… the people who can’t stand living without the act of movement.
The act of movement is essential for us.
It’s about our priorities. We value and need the uncertainty of what tomorrow might bring for us over the promise of stability that comes with a “normal” job and one place to live. As this stability is freeing and valuable for other people, it’s the exact opposite for people like me.
Of course, there are not only these two groups. Humanity is a huge melting pot of priorities and preferences, not really separable into groups where everybody would have the exact same opinion. You can be and are a part of several “groups”. I’m just making it sound easy here for the sake of understandability. Is that even a word?
Your life as you create it is a mirror of your priorities. Or should be. Please, don’t build your life based on other people’s priorities. That won’t make you happy. They’re their priorities, not yours. What can make them happy doesn’t necessarily make you happy. true, sometimes you need to be a little bit selfish.
For example, my mum wants me to go back to Czech and study at a university in the Czech Republic. But would that make me happy? Is that my priority? Or is it rather studying abroad, getting immersed in another culture, exploring the world and myself?
You can easily guess it’s the latter. So what should I do – something I don’t feel is right but a member of my family wants it, or something that I do feel and know is right while being “selfish”? I’m asking – is it selfish to live a life you were given to the fullest? In my opinion, it would be much worse to waste your life to do something you don’t really like.
Of course, priorities can and do change. Based on your experiences or your age and stuff like that. And that’s all right, that’s completely normal.
Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be happy being settled down, have kids, have a house and a terrible mortgage and a nine-to-five job. Right now that would have probably killed me straight away but I understand that this is what some people want – and, oh god, I am not mad at them for that.
Why should I? It’s the way they want to live their lives, it’s the way their lives make sense to them. I’m not here to make fun of them or to judge them. They are living their lives in a way that brings them happiness.
I know that this probably seems completely alien to some of the readers of my blog as it is focused mostly on traveling and being “all over the place”. But I respect that this is what they want to live like.
Respect. I could write a novel only about that. I think we can agree on one thing – there’s not enough respect in the world. But about that some other time.
So, to all my friends, all the people, whose priorities are so completely different from mine and so many other people like me, please, try to understand that the fact that we don’t desire the same things like you doesn’t mean we are just some bunch of basically homeless slobs, weirdos and many worse things I’ve heard from the mouths of some people.
We want the same thing as you – to be happy. We just find happiness in different things.
I find happiness and value watching the sunset over the mountains while being alone in the middle of nowhere over an evening spent amongst people in some club or so. I value living surrounded by nature over living surrounded by other people. I value solitude over neighbours. Is that a bad thing?
Why did that make my companion annoyed? I’ve got this feeling I know why. But that’s for another time.
I remember reading this article from a man who went full on ranting about how stupid people who don’t want to have kids are, how it makes him so f-ing mad because “he knows what they’re missing on”. Well, man, hate to be the one to break it to you but not all of us have the same priorities. Hope you’ll get it once so it doesn’t make you angry anymore, that must be so annoying…
Well, here we go, I’ve got this feeling that I haven’t really explained anything in this one but it doesn’t matter, hope at least the main thought was somewhat transferred into this text.
I hope you’re having a great day and that you live your life in a way that makes you happy (if not, man, just get up and change something) and hope to see you back around here soon!